“Do I need to ask God to forgive me?

I was taught from the very beginning of my Christian life to ask God to forgive me.  Your probably were taught to do the same thing, too.  In fact, asking God for forgiveness is one of the three most common prayers prayed by people; the other two being:

• “Lord, save me!” and
• “Lord, give me …”

Asking for God’s forgiveness is just normal.  However, we do not need to ask God to forgive us, at least not to forgive us for the penalty of our sins.

 This is because God, completely apart from any involvement from us, paid for all of our sins through the death of Jesus Christ.  It is as if you owed a bank ten million dollars, had no means to pay the debt back, and someone you didn’t know, without your awareness, paid off your debt for you.  And even though you did not know what was going on, the bank would cancel your debt immediately upon receiving the other person’s payment for your debt.

Jesus did that for you.  He paid a debt you owed to God and could not pay yourself.  He paid the debt without you asking Him to do so.  God planned for Jesus to do this from before the foundation of the world.  Jesus volunteered to do it, without ever asking you if you wanted Him to do it.  God has accepted His payment.  God has forgiven you of the penalty of all of your sins–without you even asking for it!

This might be a new thought for you, and perhaps one you find difficult to believe.  Maybe this will help.  No where in the New Testament are Christians instructed to ask God for forgiveness.  In fact, nowhere are non-Christians told to ask God for forgiveness.  (There are only four possible exceptions.  Can you find them?)  However, we were all taught to do so even though the New Testament does not tell us to ask God to forgive us.  Why?  Because He already has!

The good news of the Bible is not that God will forgive us if we believe, or if we ask, or if we repent or if we do anything.  The forgiveness of the penalty of sins is not accomplished by anything we do.  God does it through the execution of Jesus Christ.  The good news of the Bible is that God has already forgiven us through the death of Jesus Christ for the sins of the world.  2 Corinthians 5:18-19 says,

      “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ … namely that God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them …”

God has forgiven us for the penalty of our sins, not because we ask, or believe, or anything.  He has forgiven us because He has accepted the death of Jesus Christ as the full and just payment for our sins!  We do not need to ask Him to forgive us, but it would be exceedingly appropriate for us to say thank you for His forgiveness and to live our lives of gratitude to Him.

“If I forgive someone, should I try to forget what they did to me?”

Forgiving someone does not mean that you will or should forget what they did to you.  Forgiveness is not forgetfulness.  In fact, remembering what someone did to you is extremely important in learning how to appropriately love this person.

True forgiveness always leads to love.  This love will be more than words, more than warm feelings.  The love that flows out of authentic forgiveness will take action.  It will try to help the offender in the best possible way, for their good.  Knowing how to do this, how to love your offender appropriately, is built upon truth and reality, not denial and wishful thinking.  You will not only need to remember what they did to you, but discover the reasons why they did it.  This will give you insight and will help you to discover how to best love your offender appropriately.

“Will I lose my salvation if I do not forgive someone who has hurt me?”

This question arises in part out of the words of Jesus as recorded in Matthew 6:14-15.  Jesus said, “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, you heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”

 Many Christians have been thrown into dismay and fear when they hear these words because they are very aware of the reality that they have not forgiven someone who has deeply hurt them.  In fact, they may be completely against forgiving this person, believing it would be wrong and inappropiate to do so.

 However, the question also arises out of the misleading belief that forgiveness and salvation are the same thing.  Forgiveness is the foundation for salvation.  And forgiving other people is one of the fruits of salvation, but salvation is more than forgiveness.  Salvation is more than forgiveness in much the same way that a marriage is more than the wedding day, and more than how a man treats his wife on any one day.  A marriage is a kind of relationship.  Salvation is a kind of relationship, too.  Salvation is a relationship with God through a trusting, dependent faith in His Son, Jesus Christ.

When a man and a woman get married, they do not instantly become a perfect husband or a perfect wife.  They must learn.  They must grow.  And they will fail at times to love each other as they should, as they promised to on their wedding day.  But they are still married.  As in a marriage, we must learn how to grow in our relationship with God.  We learn how to follow Him, how to let Him heal and transform us.  And during that time, which last our entire life, we will find that we fail to love Him as we should.  Does that mean that our relationship with Him is terminated?  No, of course not.

Salvation is built on forgiveness and includes forgiveness, but salvation is more than being forgiven and more than forgiving others.  It is possible to be saved and to fail to forgive someone who has hurt you.  However, in His salvation, God will be moving you towards becoming the kind of person who does forgive others, even those who have hurt you the most.  Be willing to let God do this in your life and you will be on the right track.